I have been occupying myself with writing several pretentious little essays all about whether or not it is pretentious to like William Shakespeare. It’s how I get my kicks.
I don’t feel like sharing them yet because I’m still trying to figure out whether my writing really is as pretentious as it sounds to me. I try not to be, really, but the suspicion keeps creeping into my mind as I type. Was that last sentence too...gunning-shamelessly-for-an-A? Would I really have used the word “ambivalent” if I weren’t putting this in an essay? AM I REALLY JUST A PRETENTIOUS SMARTY-PANTS??
The struggle, folks, is real. Here’s the truth about me: I’m not a smarty-pants–I’m just a nerd, plain and simple. I fan-girl over words and books and old dead poets like some cool kids geek out over comic books or boy bands.
This is not what I was going to write about. I was going to write about something far more important, and serious, and –well, to be honest, it wasn’t anything terribly insightful. It was just something that I thought about.
When I was in Virginia, my friends and I wrote postcards to our folks. One of the girls looked up and said something to the effect of “hey, you guys, this could be the last thing we ever say to our folks. I mean if our train didn’t make it home, for some reason.” It was just a thought, just something that came up as a remote possibility.
I’ve been having one of the travelingest summers I’ve ever had, so I’ve had quite a few comings and goings already. Each time, the little thought comes that, hey–I love these guys, and I really hope this isn’t the last time I see them. maybe I should give them an extra hug, just because; maybe I should tell them, one more time, “see you later!”
Humans are funny:) Because while it’s easy to think that way when people are about to leave for a long time, we never ever think that way when we end everyday conversations. I mean, in a way it’s good–we don’t want to be constantly worrying over what we can’t control, and it’s good to be trusting that God’s will is good. I wish, though, that I were more careful to leave people with words that they will remember well. I wish I could encourage people every day, keeping in mind that seeing them was a gift, and my time with them is precious.
I slip into thinking that life is long, and that there will be plenty of time later for me to do what I ought to do right now.