Today, I have taken a nap, woken up to the realization that a large assignment (one I’ve had two years to work on) is due in a month, and mentally screamed hOLY SMOkes I will never sleep again. It’s the sort of panic that can only come from two years of putting something important on hold (even if it was to do other important somethings). You might think that, since I am now blogging about it, it can’t be that pressing, or that I must not be too concerned about this HUGE ASSIGNMENT thing.
I’m pretty concerned.
We’re going for “concerned” here though, not “anxious,” or “worried,” or “in denial,” or “defining my own self-worth by whether I actually complete the assignment and get a good grade.”
I’m trying not to fret. And I think there’s all the difference in the world. Fretting is what I’ve done, periodically, over the past two years, where I realize the deadline is approaching, worry a bunch over it, but don’t actually do anything about it. Fretting involves checking Facebook a lot.
I want to be genuinely concerned that I have been so lazy in this (and so much of it has been laziness). I want to teach my mind the discipline of thinking through a problem or a theoretical discussion without wanting to punch things, and without making the lazy transition over to the newsfeed of which puppy my friends are petting now, and what the celebrity did latest, and what Disney character is really my soul mate.
I want to think of worthwhile things and do an earnest job with assignments this semester so that when I am finished, I can go be with friends with an easy mind. I don’t want to fret anymore, because I want to know that I have given my best in all that I do. When I do go home, I want to be all there instead of constantly feeling I’m missing out on something more exciting.
What could be more exciting than the situation God’s placed me in, right now, at this moment? Where would I rather be?
So here is a resolution for me, and an encouragement to you, if you share my tendency to put hard things off: Let us redeem the time we’ve been given, not wasting it, as I have, by repeatedly clicking the refresh button on Facebook or Twitter, but, rather, honestly engaging with whatever’s next for us, whether that’s talking with friends or enjoying the outdoors or holing up with a cup of tea to finish that dang paper, and finish it well.
Whatever we do, let’s do it as if we were serving Christ, and let us do our durndest!
Thanks for reading:)